Alexa's Blog

Jeez, I've been slacking on my site. I've been adding a little here and there, but for the most part I haven't added anything new at all. I feel so sick lately and I have no idea why. Nothing seems to be wrong with me, but I'm just so tired and dizzy and occasionally nauseous. Pregnancy tests come back negative and I'm on the pill so I hope it's not some secret pregnancy I just havent been able to catch. I'm taking my thyroid meds like I should so it shouldn't be that either. A sickness was going around work recently but I havent became sick in an obvious way that would make me think ive caught something so I'm not sure. It's not like I'm shivering and throwing up, I just don't have any energy and feel bad. Really not sure what to do at all. I've applied for health insurance but it wont begin until january. I'm really hoping it goes away by then or at least doesnt get any worse before then. Through my job ive also applied for critical illnes and cancer insurance but im not quite sure the date those kick in. Guessing january but I may not get the info in the mail until way later lol. I really hope I dont need to use any of these but damn. At this point I kind of hope it's a pregnancy, because that would mean nothing is actually wrong with me lol. But at the same time I really don't have the means to have a child right now. Not that I don't want kids someday, but I also feel like the time will never be right for one so I should just accept it when it does happen. Not like I can legally get an abortion anyway, and I also don't want to ever have one in the first place. I'm kinda just rambling at this point but I think typing might make me feel better. It's almost 7 am rn and I'm the only one awake. I left work early last night and went to bed after, so I'm kind of awake way earlier than I'd want to be. I have Sundays off, so it's not a big deal if I need to go back to bed in the afternoon for a bit, but I had wanted to practice driving so I can get my license soon.. Not sure if I should be behind the wheel feeling like this in the first place so I just may skip that anyway... For now I'm trying to get hydrated. I've had tons of water but I feel like my mouth is still dry. I was having issues with having to use the bathroom a lot so maybe i did become dehydrated. My ibs could be causing all of this lol. I'll hope for that...

Well, I decided to stop using my zonelets blog and do it the old fashioned way, with the help of some preset themes. I'm in the process of revamping my whole site, so I really don't want to try to do my blog too right now, lol. I'll put all of my old posts below this one, from most recent to oldest. My next page will be the new entries. For now I'm using different themes for each page as well.
If you'd like to view the old blog, click here. My old site layout can be viewed here as well

My joint problems have been getting worse, along with a gynecological issue. I'm not sure how long I'll be able to keep this up. I feel a bit miserable! Hopefully being off work today will help me recharge.
If things don't improve by the end of the year, I may need to quit. But before I do that I'd obviously ask to be scheduled less and see if that helps any. I'll try to improve my diet as well. I'm not sure if that will help but it certainly won't hurt! I know cutting out alcohol completely would help too. I'll try everything I can before giving up. I don't want to have to pay to see a doctor right now but I probably will have to soon..
I don't know how it'll look on my blog, but instead of updating often I'll probably just put a few days worth of entries in one blog post.

I haven't updated in a long time, but I've gotten a new job! I've been very busy so I haven't had the time to login to neocities. When I get some time off soon, I hole to do I little editing of my page:)
I wasn't expecting to be getting so many hours to be honest. 35 at this job and a few at my old on my off days, and considering my sleeping issues I have to make sure to sleep at least 10 hours. Doesn't leave me much time! And I'm still tired lol. I'm better sleeping 12 but if I did that I'd have 0 time for anything... so I just try to catch up some on my days off.
Not next week, but the one after I'm scheduled for 28 instead so I'm happy about that. I've only been here a month but we have some newer people working now too. Maybe the lower hours will keep up!!
And hopefully I can get the 17th off for our 12th anniversary:) we'll be going out for sushi and sake! I'm very happy ❤️ so this makes 2 years engaged. Maybe with the money I'm saving we can have a wedding soon lol

I just finished my myspace page! (other than adding graphics and stuff to it, lol) I may use that as my new about page since someone used my page code. I've been doing a LOT of editing because of that, since I want my page to be unique. I already finished changing my main page, so next will be my navbar. Once I have that finished I can start on the things listed on my "planned pages" page ^___^;; I've changed the myspace link in my navbar to link to this new one. I liked the premade one I had before, but it was a bit harder to edit. With this one I'll be able to do whatever I want with it!! :) things are going great so far!!

Well, my Halloween was definitely interesting! Not in a good way either, lol. I decided to try edibles for the first time on the 31st, and I really overdid it. I used what I thought was a very small amount, and after about an hour of not feeling much I figured I'd drink a little bit of alcohol. I have gerd so I can't really drink most alcohol undiluted, so I mixed maybe 4 oz of a canned mangorita with some juice and drank that. About an hour or so later I suppose the edible kicked in! (2 hours? Damn) I definitely felt like I was dying after a while. It was mostly just horrible anxiety and a very fast heart rate. But I was so anxious that I was shaking and shivering causing my body to ache. Luckily after I calmed down and it wore off some I had no pain. That was really great! I normally have a lot of random aches and pains (like arthritis and migraines, etc, dumb stuff like that) but I felt completely fine! So I was excited to try again but a smaller dose and not mixing anything with it. I had also taken kratom earlier in the day for some pain, but had forgotten by the time I tried the edible..
So the next day (yesterday, last night) I tried again! But unfortunately I tried a different type of edible so I wasn't able to calculate properly how much I ingested. I thought I was taking much less this time but it was either the same amount or maybe more. This time it took me maybe 30 minutes to feel it hit and I once again felt horrible. It didn't last as long (the bad part) and I did again end up feeling great once that was over.
If it weren't for the fact that it helped my pain so greatly I wouod never do this again.. but I'm stupid so of course I'm going to try again! This time (not today don't think, maybe tomorrow) I'm just going to take a very small bite and see how it goes!

In the future I'd like to make these edibles again, but using a cbd dominant flower. Hopefully that will still relieve pain, without making me feel like I just visited hell. I'm also planning to try it with stems. Since they're less potent it may work!
I used to have a bunch of saved stems, but they got sprayed with bug spray so I had to throw them out. This time I'm going to use a different container and keep them somewhere else so that doesn't happen. It might also be interesting to try making them into suppositories (not for my behind ok!) to help with menstrual pain. I read that you don't get a high with those!

Overall the experience was horrible and awesome 👌(^__^ ;; )

Buuuut for some reason while being messed up on Halloween I tried to download and play the game Kichiku Megane unsuccessfully.. I remembered it existed when I had my music on shuffle and the game op started playing lol. That was a game I was interested in back in middle school because the op became kind of a meme on niconico and YouTube. I think I'd seen the vocaloid one? Maybe it was Hetalia, but I wasn't interested in Hetalia then and was obsessed with Vocaloid so I assume that was it. It's a yaoi game, so I never played it back then but I would look at stuff from it. Weird dual personality megane buisinessmen? Strange! Sign me up!!
I hate that old yaoi artstyle but it's a bit nostalgic lol. The only character I remember liking was Mr. R.. and that's still true orz I'm not interested in any of the characters in the game tbh so I don't think I'd actually try to play it (plus it's in Japanese..so) but that day it seemed like a good idea!
I would play the typing game for kichiku megane r because it seems stupid and fun though. I downloaded the cgs for the first game and it's.. not good lol. The stuff with the character I liked is fine though but I suppose that's just because I'm very interested in some of his clothing. If it weren't for that I'd probably think it's just as bad as the rest lol. Or it may just be that the art is so bad for their bodies everyone just automatically looks better when they stay on.
I wouldn't recommend the game, except for the typing game section in R.
The op song is still catchy to me tho.. if I ever get around to redoing my utau I'd like to make her sing it!

edit.. hm maybe I shouldn't have been talking about yaoi here, but idk what to talk about and that's just what I felt like saying in the moment orz

Things have been a bit crazy. But I guess things have been crazy since 2020 lol. Last week my fiance's grandma passed away and this morning my brothers cat did too. My fiance, who I'll call D, has been taking it pretty well, but I'm a bit worried about my brother. It's been hard on him since our mom passed, then a few months ago the family dog died too. He lives with our dad but they weren't really close until our mom died. I think he's gotten over the fact that he used to hate our dad but idk. I'm wondering if I should get him like a hamster or something so he won't feel so alone being the only one at home while our dad is at work.

I keep getting really sick for no reason and idk what to do about that. I'm vaccinated though!
I can't think of a lot that I want to write, but I think I want to take old posts from my tumblr and other sites and put them here. (hence the title name lol)
That'd take a long ass time but it might be fun.

Well! I've decided to remove my fc2 blog from the menu here and replace it fully with this. I've set all my old posts there to private, because I suppose an aggregation of all my posts since childhood is actually quite personal.. In the future I figure I'll use it as an actual diary, lol. The people visiting my neocities probably don't care for that stuff anyway (I hope!)
Buuuut, I'm back working on my art neocities! I'm also using zonelets there (fully!) because I just can't be arsed to deal with coding a new site. I'll mostly just be hosting my commission info there, so it works well enough for that.
I've decided to open commissions up again, mainly because I need money! lol. I hope you guys will check me out, even if you're not interested in commissioning me or you don't have the money to :3
I'm going to make a page where you can send me requests too, so keep a look out!!! my site can be viewed here.

WHere's a test post! I'm interested in using neocities as a blogging platform as I tried to in the past. Now that I found this it may not be so hard! I found it a little troublesome before to be honest! I switched to blogger and didn't quite like it there. I settled on fc2 and I really want to continue backing up old blog posts of mine from various sites over my decade+ of having internet accounts. It wasn't until 2007 or 2008 that my parents let me sign up for websites, so I don't have an internet footprint before then. But most of my accounts that started then are still online :)